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Man, it's raining cats and dogs here in God's Country. (Eastern South Dakota) I got Eric Church on the stereo and I'm lookin' out my back window at the cats and dogs falling from the sky. What a gloomy day it is. However, The Captain is pleased to report that Slackwater Jack is playing tonight at my local VFW and I fully intend to go boot scootin' later this evening. They are a great local country band and I will have a great time sippin bears and tappin my cowboy boots. Honky Tonkin' is a great way to get away from the stress of seeing all the shit happening in this fucked up world and I recommend that the crew of this good ship do the same. Just maybe I will meet a beautiful cowgirl to ride off into the sunset with.
THAT IS ALL
ATTENTION
FLASH MESSAGE FOLLOWS
FOLLOWING COMMUNICATION WAS LEFT AT MISHA WATCH
BEEYATCH PWND
THAT IS ALL
-SHOT OUT-
ATTENTION ON DECK!
Ok, so the first question I have is: What voices in your head made you decide to create a fucking website to denigrate another American for exercising his right to the FREEDOM OF SPEECH? (see, you filthy commies think you can say anything, but the first time someone else says anything remotely contrary to your spurious opinion, you shout, “FACIST”.)
The second question I have is: When was the first time that you discovered the term, “FACIST”? (was it when you were just a child, and your mommy and daddy, if you know who they are, told you not to do something that they felt was wrong?)
My third question is: Have you ever done anything in your life that contributed to the advancement of our society, or, like most other commies, did you grow up in an environment of entitlements. Thinking mean thoughts cause the “other kids” had new shoes, or new, hip clothes, or were smarter, or stronger than you?
There is a big problem in this country, and it is not THIS COUNTRY. It is citizens like you, and your compatriots, who scurry about like little COCKROACHES, intent on your little COCKROACH errands, to try and sabotage everything that is GOOD, MORAL, AND RIGHT in our society. Have you ever built anything? Have you ever dug a ditch? Have you ever done one single thing, except for this pathetic excuse for a blog which is based on lambasting another American for his point of fucking view? Have you built a bridge? Laid down concrete? Fixed an engine? Planted potatoes? Planted anything? Got your hands dirty? Rode a horse? Felt like a FUCKING MAN? In your entire misbegotten life? Have you gutted a hog? Chopped the head off a chicken? Built a house? Built anything? Shot a bottle rocket at a friend in a bottle rocket fight? Fished? Killed game? Trapped? Have you ever taken a fucking risk at all? Have you ever had the blood of an animal squirt in your face? Have you ever felt the incomparable feeling of nailing a target with a rifle and hold a 1 inch group at 200 yards? Ever thanked God that you were being fed? That you had a home? A car? Thank Him for YOUR MISERABLE FUCKING LIFE? Or do you sit in front of your computer, day in and day out, and stew, fester, and become cancerous more and more every day of your existence.
My fourth and final question is this: What’s wrong with a little Facisim?
Here’s my scenario for the future. The WHORE OF BABLYON, Hillery Clinton, will sit astride the dragon, soon, or any other one of your commie choices for President. We will tuck tail and run from the War on Terror, and Haji, Absalom, fucking turbaned turd will get a BIG feather up his ass, and soon, so soon, we will have suicide, homicide, and fratricide bombers running into shopping malls, school buses, hospitals, and the like, blowing up MORE innocent men, women, and children, (3000 in New York isn’t enough for the likes of you, is it?) and then, and ONLY then, will the “good ol’ boys”, the “rednecks”, the God fearing, gun toting, right-wing, anti commie, anti abortion, anti illegal immigrant, anti socialist, anti YOU AND YOURS, Christians, will come on out with guns blazing and set this God Beloved Country back on the path of righteousness. Do yourself a favor, you little COCKROACH, and tell your fucking FAGGOT buddies, scurry back under your fetid, stinking, slimy rock, or maybe someday, you just might be, just another ABLE BODIED LEAD STOPPER.
-THAT IS ALL-
ATTENTION ALL HANDS! After a day of recovery operations it is The Capitan's great pleasure to announce that Operation St. Patrick's Day Without a Fight went off without a hitch. Linking up with the advanced reconnaissance team at World Imports at approximately 1900 hours we proceeded to rescue virgin pints of Guinness with reckless abandon. After all assault teams arrived at the forward area of battle it was decided upon to move HQ to a more expedient location. Said location being the local El Riad Shrine Temple. Once we reached that location, the main assault finally began with all teams reporting stunning success at rooting out and eliminating all weak brain cells. It is also The Capitan's great pleasure to inform you that not one single altercation occurred due to the Capitan's Irishness! I MUST be getting old! Congratulations to one and all on a stunning and flawless operation.
THAT IS ALL
ATTENTION ALL HANDS! ATTENTION ALL HANDS! THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING. I WISH TO TAKE A MOMENT TO WISH YOU ALL A VERY WARM AND SAFE ST. PATRICK'S DAY. LET US NOT FORGET A FEW BASIC RULES WHICH MUST BE OBSERVED ON THIS MOST AUSPICIOUS DAY FOR IRISH FOLKS ACROSS THE WORLD. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM CALLING IT ST. PATTY'S DAY. TO A REAL IRISHMAN THIS IS AN INSULT. NEVER MAKE FUN OF A MAN'S SINGING, NEVER MAKE FUN OF A MANS HAT, AND REMEMBER, THAT NO SELF RESPECTING IRISHMAN WOULD EVER LET A DROP OF GREEN BEER PAST HIS LIPS!
THAT IS ALL.
