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ATTENTION ALL HANDS! ATTENTION ALL HANDS!
After careful consideration and not a whole lot of deliberation, The Captain has made a choice for this month's ATTA BOY AWARD. Please give a rousing round of applause for The Vicar of Christ on Earth, Pope Benedict! I don't know about you, but I LOVE this Pope as I LOVED John Paul. Keepin it real and kicking Mooselimb arse the Catholic way. Your numbah one in our book sailor!
THAT IS ALL.
A Pope Who Gets It
By Micah Halpern
MicahHalpern.com | April 9, 2007
I got this article from Micah Halpern over at Frontpagemag.com Seems our Pope took it upon himself to send Ayalicktoilets Khamenei a wee letter when they were holding those Brits prisoner. Seems the Pope didn't denigrate the Ayalicktoilets about not being a Catholic or anything like that. What he did, was call that "turbaned turd's" bluff. Go read the whole article and then you may understand why The Captain believes it's time to start sharpening the Broadsword of Christian Justice and stop this fucking bullshitting around. The pisslamists are out to kill, enslave, or convert every single person on this planet. They HATE Catholics because they know there are so many of us. As many of us as there are of them. Add to that our other fine Christian brothers and you got a recipe for some real world wide fucking PISSLAMIC ASS STOMPING! And because they know that WE know, their fucking piss poor excuse for a religion is nothing more than a temper tantrum by their PEDOPHILE PROPHET because they were pissed at the Jews for having their One God and having it made, mostly. So they got a big chip on their shoulder and decided to create a false religion. Bet ya I'm right.
It has been confirmed by the Vatican.
Pope Benedict XVI wrote a letter to the Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei on behalf of the fifteen British sailors and marines taken captive by Iran. Writing this letter to Iran's Muslim leader was a very bold move on the part of the world's leading Catholic.You know, it's not really a bold move. The Pope is the Vicar of Christ on this earth. Listen, what most people don't seem to realize, even some (for shame) Catholics around the world, is that the Pope is really a baaaad ass Spiritual Ninja! I'm not joking. Just think, this guy's got 1.5 BILLION people in his gang. What the fuck do you think the Pope needs to worry about? Yes, as Pope, he's got to go on TV and try to stay within the guidelines of forgiveness, atonement, peace, and love, no doubt about it. But The Captain is willing to bet his next paycheck that when the cameras are off, and he's chillin' in the Pope's apartment, him and the other Vatican homeboys sit around and talk about how they wish they could throw the gloves off and come out swinging. You see, to a died in the wool Catholic, a follower of Islam, is a SATAN WORSHIPPER. No fucking bones about it. And to Catholic's, anybody who worships Satan is gonna get their ASSES handed to them when You Know Who comes back to town. The Pope certainly knows that.
Evil incarnate is the way the Muslim world views the Catholic Pope. The Muslim world in general and Iran specifically have deemed the Pope the most dangerous leader on our planet. The Western world pales in comparison. The United States is a mere trifling annoyance. Israel is a speck on the Muslim hatred meter when compared to the Catholic Pope.
The Pope is a threat to Islam.
You fucking ay right he is, you suckers of hog cocks. The Pope KNOWS you fuckers are in for it when it's all said an done. He KNOWS you camel fellating, child murdering, shit licking, ABLE BODIED LEAD STOPPERS, are gonna do whatever the fuck you want to do. For now. The Captain is gonna tell you something right here. I ain't no angel. I am in more need of Christ's sweet salvation than the ENTIRE pisslamic religion. But you know, by His stripes we are healed. And I believe it brother. I believe it as surely as I can see my ugly reflection every morning in the mirror. I believe it as surely as the day is long. And nobody, repeat NOBODY, will ever make The Captain say otherwise. You worthless cockroaches keep scurrying about on your worthless little cockroach errands all you fucking want. I just hope, no matter what God has in store for me at the end, nay, I PRAY! that I see every single one of you SATAN WORSHIPING sons of fucking sows get what YOU truly deserve. Come 'ear, I gotta coupla 14 inch shells for ya!
THAT IS ALL
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ATTENTION ALL HANDS
STAND BY FOR FLASH MESSAGE
THE CAPTAIN WISHES ONE AND ALL TO HAVE A SAFE, HAPPY, GOD FILLED EASTER HOLIDAY.
MAY YOU AND YOURS EXPERIENCE THE PEACE, LOVE, AND GRACE OF OUR SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST FOREVER.
THE CAPTAIN WISHES TO REMIND THE CREW
HE IS RISEN!
THAT IS ALL
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A world without children a result of worldwide "demographic death spiral"
-SHOT OUT-
This is a link to a story at LifeSite.net The Captain recently discovered this website and approves it for the crew's general reading. This article made the little hairs on the back of The Captains' neck stand up. It is very disturbing to think of a world as described in this article. But it is very apparent that what is said here, is very true. Go have a look and then tell me what you think about the whole issue.
THAT IS ALL
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ATTENTION ON DECK!
New Jersey School Stages Practice Hostage Drill – Portrays Killers as Fundamentalist ChristiansSuperintendent says, “We need to practice under conditions as real as possible”
Can you fucking believe this shit? I mean, really, can you just FUCKING BELIEVE THIS SHIT?!?! This is from an article published on LifeSite.net on Tuesday morning. This is just one more straw added to a camel's back that is already TOTALLY overloaded with fucking straws. I wish The Captain could say that it is the last straw but, unfortunately, The Captain is not so fucking naive to believe that it will end here.
BURLINGTON, NJ, April 3, 2007 (LifeSiteNews.com) – On Thursday, March 22, officials at Burlington Township High School enlisted the help of two local policemen to carry out a mock ‘hostage situation’ drill at their school. The drill invoked disapproval from Christian students as the student body was told that the alleged gunmen were “members of a right-wing fundamentalist group called the 'New Crusaders' who don't believe in separation of church and state.”
Oh yeah, that's right, it's not radical turbaned turds running around, killing thousands of people every day with IED's, homicide bombings, and suicide bombings all over the world, it's Fundamentalist Christians!
School Superintendent Chris Manno praised the drill beforehand explaining that “You perform as you practice. We need to practice under conditions as real as possible in order to evaluate our procedures and plans so that they're as effective as possible.”Who the fuck is this guy? And what the fuck is this dhimmwhit doing running an institution of learning? ATTENTION CREW, LOAD THE MAIN GUNS AND STAND BY TO FIRE! This motherfucker needs a good ol' fashioned Skin Head boot party! Has Piss Manno even seen a fucking news broadcast in the last 5 years? Has he read a fucking newspaper? Listened to the fucking radio? Or has he been sitting in his office with his hand on his cock, fantasizing about little school boys and what he'd like to do to them? You TOTAL fucking RETARD!
Bob Pawson, National Coordinator of the Scriptures in School Project, denied that the drill portrayed a possible reality and instead asserted that the drill was used as an excuse to denigrate Christians. “So what allegedly real condition was imagineered? A grotesque scenario saturated with Christian-bashing prejudice and bigotry; a scenario which could never possibly occur.”And The Captain believes that you are absolutely right Bob. Now load up the Chuch bus with as many Right-Wing, gun-toting, Fundamentalist Christians as you can find, and go SHOOT THAT FUCKER IN THE HEAD! The thing that makes this useless drill even more useless is the fact that, according to Bob Pawson, even in todays' SOCIALIST dominated American society, school kids CANNOT get expelled for praying before class!
The US Department of Education explicitly affirms the high court rulingSo there ya go, you sucker of dead squirrel dicks, you've exposed yourself for what you truly are. God help you when the balloon finally goes up in this Country.
and the national No Child Left Behind educational program penalizes any
school that does not allow for constitutionally protected religious
speech which includes public prayer.
You fucking wanker!
Go read the whole article, The Captain is to pissed to say anymore about this shit.
THAT IS ALL.
Man, it's raining cats and dogs here in God's Country. (Eastern South Dakota) I got Eric Church on the stereo and I'm lookin' out my back window at the cats and dogs falling from the sky. What a gloomy day it is. However, The Captain is pleased to report that Slackwater Jack is playing tonight at my local VFW and I fully intend to go boot scootin' later this evening. They are a great local country band and I will have a great time sippin bears and tappin my cowboy boots. Honky Tonkin' is a great way to get away from the stress of seeing all the shit happening in this fucked up world and I recommend that the crew of this good ship do the same. Just maybe I will meet a beautiful cowgirl to ride off into the sunset with.
THAT IS ALL
ATTENTION
FLASH MESSAGE FOLLOWS
FOLLOWING COMMUNICATION WAS LEFT AT MISHA WATCH
BEEYATCH PWND
THAT IS ALL
-SHOT OUT-
ATTENTION ON DECK!
Ok, so the first question I have is: What voices in your head made you decide to create a fucking website to denigrate another American for exercising his right to the FREEDOM OF SPEECH? (see, you filthy commies think you can say anything, but the first time someone else says anything remotely contrary to your spurious opinion, you shout, “FACIST”.)
The second question I have is: When was the first time that you discovered the term, “FACIST”? (was it when you were just a child, and your mommy and daddy, if you know who they are, told you not to do something that they felt was wrong?)
My third question is: Have you ever done anything in your life that contributed to the advancement of our society, or, like most other commies, did you grow up in an environment of entitlements. Thinking mean thoughts cause the “other kids” had new shoes, or new, hip clothes, or were smarter, or stronger than you?
There is a big problem in this country, and it is not THIS COUNTRY. It is citizens like you, and your compatriots, who scurry about like little COCKROACHES, intent on your little COCKROACH errands, to try and sabotage everything that is GOOD, MORAL, AND RIGHT in our society. Have you ever built anything? Have you ever dug a ditch? Have you ever done one single thing, except for this pathetic excuse for a blog which is based on lambasting another American for his point of fucking view? Have you built a bridge? Laid down concrete? Fixed an engine? Planted potatoes? Planted anything? Got your hands dirty? Rode a horse? Felt like a FUCKING MAN? In your entire misbegotten life? Have you gutted a hog? Chopped the head off a chicken? Built a house? Built anything? Shot a bottle rocket at a friend in a bottle rocket fight? Fished? Killed game? Trapped? Have you ever taken a fucking risk at all? Have you ever had the blood of an animal squirt in your face? Have you ever felt the incomparable feeling of nailing a target with a rifle and hold a 1 inch group at 200 yards? Ever thanked God that you were being fed? That you had a home? A car? Thank Him for YOUR MISERABLE FUCKING LIFE? Or do you sit in front of your computer, day in and day out, and stew, fester, and become cancerous more and more every day of your existence.
My fourth and final question is this: What’s wrong with a little Facisim?
Here’s my scenario for the future. The WHORE OF BABLYON, Hillery Clinton, will sit astride the dragon, soon, or any other one of your commie choices for President. We will tuck tail and run from the War on Terror, and Haji, Absalom, fucking turbaned turd will get a BIG feather up his ass, and soon, so soon, we will have suicide, homicide, and fratricide bombers running into shopping malls, school buses, hospitals, and the like, blowing up MORE innocent men, women, and children, (3000 in New York isn’t enough for the likes of you, is it?) and then, and ONLY then, will the “good ol’ boys”, the “rednecks”, the God fearing, gun toting, right-wing, anti commie, anti abortion, anti illegal immigrant, anti socialist, anti YOU AND YOURS, Christians, will come on out with guns blazing and set this God Beloved Country back on the path of righteousness. Do yourself a favor, you little COCKROACH, and tell your fucking FAGGOT buddies, scurry back under your fetid, stinking, slimy rock, or maybe someday, you just might be, just another ABLE BODIED LEAD STOPPER.
-THAT IS ALL-
ATTENTION ALL HANDS! After a day of recovery operations it is The Capitan's great pleasure to announce that Operation St. Patrick's Day Without a Fight went off without a hitch. Linking up with the advanced reconnaissance team at World Imports at approximately 1900 hours we proceeded to rescue virgin pints of Guinness with reckless abandon. After all assault teams arrived at the forward area of battle it was decided upon to move HQ to a more expedient location. Said location being the local El Riad Shrine Temple. Once we reached that location, the main assault finally began with all teams reporting stunning success at rooting out and eliminating all weak brain cells. It is also The Capitan's great pleasure to inform you that not one single altercation occurred due to the Capitan's Irishness! I MUST be getting old! Congratulations to one and all on a stunning and flawless operation.
THAT IS ALL
ATTENTION ALL HANDS! ATTENTION ALL HANDS! THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING. I WISH TO TAKE A MOMENT TO WISH YOU ALL A VERY WARM AND SAFE ST. PATRICK'S DAY. LET US NOT FORGET A FEW BASIC RULES WHICH MUST BE OBSERVED ON THIS MOST AUSPICIOUS DAY FOR IRISH FOLKS ACROSS THE WORLD. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM CALLING IT ST. PATTY'S DAY. TO A REAL IRISHMAN THIS IS AN INSULT. NEVER MAKE FUN OF A MAN'S SINGING, NEVER MAKE FUN OF A MANS HAT, AND REMEMBER, THAT NO SELF RESPECTING IRISHMAN WOULD EVER LET A DROP OF GREEN BEER PAST HIS LIPS!
THAT IS ALL.
